me reading fanfiction: THEY GON FUCK
me reading a long fanfiction: WHEN THEY GON FUCK
me writing fanfiction: NOW THEY GON FUCK


heh. you can go back to your angry turds and your shit the rope. some of us REAL gamers have ACTUAL casual iOS games to play, like fruit ninja and words with friends


you know how sometimes you unlock your phone in your pocket by accident or the sound button rubs against your leg and turns the sound on by accident? what if you’re walking around the pokemon world with your POKET MONSTERS in your pocket right, nestled in their cozy pokeballs. but one of the pokeballs rubs your leg the wrong way AND OPENS UP IN YOUR POCKET. TYRANITAR COMES BURSTING OUT OF IT’S POKEBALL, YOUR PANTS GET TORN APART AS THE HUMONGOUS POKEMON EMERGES FROM WITHIN YOUR POCKET. THE TRACES OF WHAT WERE YOUR PANTS LIE SCATTERED ON THE GROUND OR STILL CLINGING ONTO TYRANITAR. “YOU DONT NEED TO WEAR UNDERWEAR EVERYDAY,” YOU TOLD YOURSELF EARLIER THAT MORNING. YOUR POKEBALLS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE, ROLLING DOWN HILL AWAY FROM YOU. THIS IS TRULY THE WORST DAY OF YOUR POKEMON TRAINER LIFE.



Catering to all your bathroom needs…

Me: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Mum: He's black
Me: You look for fresh prints, but oh my god
gotta catch most of them